Tuesday, December 26, 2006

He's Been Faithful

(the title taken from a song’s title, denger pertama kali waktu dibawain oleh Oon di Mezbah Doa GPBB) – aku terharu loh, sampe nangis… makasih yah On..

Merry Christmas everyone :)

Ntah kenapa aku gak terlalu punya celebration mood this year… yang ada grateful feeling that I can still walk with Him despite all struggles that I faced for the past 6 months, saat2 di mana aku ngerasa down, gak jelas ke mana arah hidupku..

10 July – 26 December 2006

Kembali ke Singapore setelah 1 bulan di Indonesia.. aku mutusin pindah ke tempat Ka IE*.... Pertimbangan waktu itu, flexible, aku bisa move out kapan aja dan sekalian ingin belajar dari keluarga ini… trus berharap juga kalo something bad happened to me, at least I have a christian family to turn into..

Well, hasilnya really up side down… berbeda dengan expectationku, tapi aku belajar mengenali their distinguished gifts and mine, belajar kalo the language of love luas sekali and learn theirs…

Sekarang tinggal sementara di tempat Ninik (my old flat) selama seminggu… I really thank God that I have friend like her …sedih seh tadi pas ninggalin rumah keluarga ini… mereka sedang pergi, jadi gak sempet pamitan.. .sedih aja gak ada yang mengantar… tp pas di bawah nunggu taxi, ada satu nenek, yang nemenin dan bantuin angkat barang ke taxi… somehow ngerasa kalo it’s God’s hand yang terus menyertaiku melalui nenek ini

Minggu depan rencananya akan pindah ke hostel tempat International students.... hehe lama2 terbiasa dengan kehidupan nomaden..

December 2006 - Speak out..

Aku lagi nunggu second offer letter dari tempat kerjaku, SFMS… waktu pertama kali dapet offer letter, kecewa seh dengan salary yang mereka kasih… sempet nanya Tuhan, is this one of the consequences nya utk pindah field, keluar dari engineering line? After much thought, consult with friends, akhirnya aku mutusin untuk negotiate…

Bukannya mata duitan atau gila uang atau gak bersyukur, tapi aku ingin employer aku appreciate employee dengan cara memberikan gaji yang layak… Money is not the most important thing, but it is something…. aku ngomong ke principal dan thank God permohonan itu disetujui… *ada unsur politik yang aku kgk terlalu pengen ikut campur..

Hmm sempet ragu, gimana yah kalo gak dapet second offer letter, krn sebelum sign agreement biasanya aku gak terlalu take thing seriously.. trus suddenly diingetin, Sien, kalau kamu percaya dengan legal agreement, bagaimana dengan God’s promise? Janji Tuhan lebih solid daripada any human agreement… Dia gak akan nelantarin anakNya, knp harus meragukan janji Tuhan … kuasa Tuhan jauh lebih besar daripada law yang dibuat oleh manusia… trus karakter Tuhan juga lebih luar biasa… dibanding law yang rigid… hehe … jd belajar percaya ama janji Tuhan..

At the same time, aku bantuin supervisor thesis aku di NTU untuk produce 1 paper utk artificial organ journal… ada something yg terus mengganjal seh .. yaitu author order… krn papernya ini diambil murni dari thesis aku… by right the first author itu aku, trus supervisor itu belakangan… tapi ini he put his name on the first… sempet mikir2, consult dgn temen2 research, dan memberanikan diri nanya ke supervisor… “How do you justify the author’s order and who to be included in the author’s list”… dia kasih reason and akhirnya dia bilang you can be the first author… aku gak argue and he straight away said that… waaah seneng bgt seh… at least ada acknowledgment kalo ini diambil dari thesisku :)

Hehe next time, sy harus lebih berani utk speak out… masih takut2 nih..

He’s Been Faithful

In my moments of fear

Through every pain every tear
There's a God who's been faithful to me

When my strength was all gone
When my heart had no song still in love
He's proved faithful to me

Every word He's promised is true
What I thought was impossible I've seen my God do

He's been faithful
Faithful to me
Looking back His love and mercy I see
Though in my heart I have questioned, even failed to believe
Yet He's been faithful, faithful to me

When my heart looked away
The many times I could not pray
Still my God He was faithful to me

The days I spent so selfishly
Reaching out for what pleased me
Even then God was faithful to me

Everytime I come back to Him
He is waiting with open arms
And I see once again

He's been faithful
Faithful to me
Looking back His love and mercy I see
Though in my heart I have questioned, even failed to believe
Yet He's been faithful, faithful to me

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